I have successfully avoided blogging until today. This wasn’t because I didn’t have stuff to say – I love my inner monologue as much as the next gal – but because every time I tried to write something down it came out sounding like an undergraduate sociology essay. I couldn’t write about ‘family’ or ‘mothering’ without asking questions like ‘how does one define family?’ or ‘mothering according to what set of cultural standards’?
The end results were long, rambling, blog-like posts that were exceptionally boring. I was spending so much time trying to make sure any potential reader would feel included that I was mostly making very long sentences that would say things like,
“While not every parent has a partner, if you are parenting and partnered (married, common law, long term relationship, step-parenting. This could be in a romantic relationship <queer or straight> or on a co/multi parent team), adding another sibling can drastically change your family dynamics”
See what I mean? The. Worst.
Here’s the problem: the more I study things like family dynamics, gendered parenting, and cultural expectations of motherhood the more I realize that that these are highly complex and nuanced concepts which makes adorable and informative blogs super hard. So in order to move past this difficulty and start having some interesting conversations, I need to get a few things out of the way.
- I hope to make this blog as feminist, queer/trans inclusive, body positive, anti-racist, (dis)ability friendly, class neutral and decolonized as possible.
- When I say ‘family’, I mean all types of families, including however you define yours.
- This blog is very mom focused and I know that ‘mom’ can mean a lot of things, like birth mom, non-bio mom, adoptive mom, step-mom, etc. So I want you to know that if you self-identify as a mom, you are a mom to me too.
- I know that what it takes to be identified as a ‘good mom’ can change pretty dramatically depending on a variety of socio-cultural influences. I’m not interested in trying to prove some parenting ideologies are better than others and am very interested in supporting you in making parenting choices that leave you feeling confident and grounded.
- I understand that I writing from a very particular social location and that sometimes I’ll overlook important perspectives and that you will likely disagree with me at times. When this happens, I encourage you to reach out and let me know. I promise I’ll consider it carefully and critically.
Phew! That feels better. Now that you know where I am coming from we can debate all sorts of things, like political language, definitions, parenting behavior, discipline strategies… the possibilities are pretty much endless. Let’s just agree to stay curious and keep the learning from each other.
‘Cause this stuff is important. It’s family.
* Also I am a terrible editor and will often make spelling and grammar mistakes. We’re all just going to have to be okay with that *