Want to know if you are a too-tired-too-busy parent!? Take this quiz to find out!
- Do you find yourself constantly transferring things from today’s to-do list to tomorrow to-do list?
- Do you find yourself reminding your co-workers to put their mittens on before going outside?
- Have you tried to make a pot of coffee but forgot to add the coffee?
- Do you find yourself fantasizing about running away to a secluded island?
- Have you started the week with two hundred dollars worth of groceries in the fridge only to order pizza three times?
- Did you get genuinely excited about the new season of Paw Patrol just to have something new to watch?
- Have you fallen asleep before your kids while attempting to read bedtimes stories?
- Has bribing/yelling at your kids become your go-to strategies for trying to get out the door on time?
- Do you find yourself keeping score with how much ‘time off’ parenting you and your partner (if you have one) each gets?
- Is your family concerned about your digestion because of how much time you spend in the bathroom secretly playing games on your phone?
If you answered yes to any of these questions you might be a too-tired-too-busy parent.
Solidarity with you, my friend, because most of us parents with young children are, so you can rest assured that you are in good company. Many parents say that although raising kids is more rewarding than paid work, it is a hell of a lot more exhausting. And cis women in hetero relationships are working harder than their partners, even in the most progressive relationships. So it’s no wonder there are so many memes of parents drinking coffee by the gallon as a survival strategy.
The good news is that it’s not your fault. The combination of intensive mothering demands (more on that next month) that increase our workload at home with the financial demands that increase our paid workload has left us with little recovery time.
And that’s on a good day. Unfortunately, the really yucky moments in life don’t seem to care that much that our plates are already full. Like when you go through a breakup. Or fall into a major depression. Or when a sick parent needs you as much as your children do. Those are the times that you can quickly find yourself deteriorating from tired yet joyful to exhausted and hardly coping.
I so relate to this, friends. I wrote about a similar time in my life last year in my post Just Maintain: A Movement For All Who Are Weary, where I invited you to take a break from thriving and give yourself permission to just survive for a while. And while I am very happy to share that I did survive my year
from hell of growth, it’s left me really chewing on what it means to endure difficult times and actually watch yourself build resiliency.
I want to invite you to explore the unique ways in which you persist when times are tough with this months edition of the Shame-Free Parenting Webinar Series. Because there are ways to lighten the load even when the load is heavier than you think you can stand and needs to be carried further than you ever thought possible.
Register here and join me on January 21 at 8:00pm (EST) as we discuss “How to Endure the (Impossible?) Work of Parenting“. We are going to talk about burnout, crawling to the finish line, being weary to the bone, and noticing all the ways in which you are doing better than you think. I’m also going to make some big asks of you, like if you are willing to experiment with laziness and intentional selfishness. You’re also going to get a fun, free, printable booklet filled with permission slips for you to give yourself on those extra hard days.
You may have to endure just a little bit longer, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Olivia Scobie, MSW, RSW, M.A., ACC, MSP
Social Work Counselor